Paradise Café

The Place

Paradise is a beach town in Costa Rica. The country is not specifically mentioned, but the Spanish is Costa Rican Spanish.

The Paradise Café, owned and run by an American couple, caters to tourists, serving American breakfasts, fruit beverages and coffee. It has become a gathering place where Paradise’s residents congregate.

The Time

In the outside world, the year is 1999 but in Paradise technology is still being born. Paradise has electricity and running water, but very few telephones (due to the lack of infrastructure) and no cell service. There is internet access available in cities, but none anywhere near Paradise.

Cast of Characters

in order of appearance

SAM

Owner of the Paradise Café. About 60 years old. American expat. He used to love Paradise, but he is tired and isn’t sure anymore.

CANDY

Sam’s employee at the café. Late 30s to early 40s. American expat. She smokes and doesn’t realize that her halter tops and short cut-offs looked much better on her 20 years ago.

CARLOS

Sam’s cook at the café. He’s a young local man in his 20s. Brims with classic Latino charm.

DAVE

Paradise resident, American expat in his mid 50s. Makes a living by taking tourists on fishing trips. Goofy, not terribly bright but kind-hearted.

JULIE

Paradise resident in her 20s. American Peace Corp volunteer.

MOSES

Paradise resident of indecipherable age. Well-traveled and of East African origin. Speaks with a charming British accent.

EDUARDO

Local man who owns the building that houses the Paradise Café.

BEV

Sam’s wife, about 60 years old. American expat. Her composure has always been the salvation of Sam.

SELENE

Local woman who does domestic work for Sam and Bev in their home.

DENISE

The new girl in town, from Texas. She is in her 40s. She is a doe-eyed about life in Paradise and always very enthusiastic.

SYLVIA

Sam’s 17 year old granddaughter. Beautiful and furious.

FOUR TOURISTS

WILSON

American ex-pat resident of Paradise who used to be a police officer.

Other townspeople:

MONICA

VAL

KATIA

LINDA

PABLO

MANUEL

POLICIA

Paradise Café

ACT I

SCENE 1

[THERE ARE FOUR TABLES IN THE PARADISE CAFE, NUMBERED 1-4 CLOCKWISE FROM UPSTAGE LEFT. THERE IS AN ENTRANCE FROM THE STREET DOWNSTAGE LEFT AND A DOOR LEADING INTO THE KITCHEN OF THE CAFE UPSTAGE RIGHT. FOOD IS SERVED THROUGH A LARGE WINDOW/COUNTER IN THE STAGE RIGHT WALL OF THE CAFE. IT IS POURING RAIN AT SEVEN AM ON AN OCTOBER MORNING AND THERE ARE NO TOURISTS IN THE PARADISE CAFÉ. CANDY, THE WAITRESS, SITS AT TABLE 1 SMOKING AND DRINKING COFFEE. CARLOS, THE COOK, IS IN THE KITCHEN WORKING. SAM, THE OWNER, WALKS AROUND WIPING TABLES AND CHAIRS WITH A DAMP RAG. DAVE IS SEATED AT TABLE 2. RAIN POURS STEADILY THROUGHOUT THE SCENE. THERE’S A LANGUIDNESS TO THE BEGINNING OF THE SCENE WHICH SUGGESTS THAT THESE PEOPLE HAVE THIS CONVERSATION, OR ONE LIKE IT, EVERY DAY.]

SAM

The thing is - you never know. If everyone else closes in the rainy season, people have to come here. There's always somebody in Paradise.

DAVE

Except today.

SAM

Except today.

CANDY

Sam, did you pay the electric bill?

SAM

In fact, I did! Bev is driving to the office in Malinche today with the check.

CANDY

Wow! I'm proud of you!

SAM

Hey. I'm getting better.

CANDY

(to Dave, who already knows) Last month Sam here forgot to pay the electric bill so right in the middle of like eight breakfasts, the guy from the Cooperativa comes and cuts off the power. We had to-

DAVE

I know. I was here, remember?

CARLOS

Dave, you always here!

DAVE

I know. I like Sam. He's so cheerful.

SAM

(sarcastically, he is troubled today) A veritable ray of sunshine.

DAVE

Ok. Well, the coffee's good.

CANDY

Thanks.

SAM

Good?! It's the best! Speaking of which, can I warm yours up?

DAVE

Sure.

[SAM FILLS DAVE'S CUP, RETURNS TO THE KITCHEN AND POURS COFFEE FOR HIMSELF. HE GOES AND SITS WITH DAVE.]

SAM

Whoever named "Paradise" did not do it on a day like today.

CANDY

Hell, no. You see what this (meaning the rain) does to my hair?

DAVE

Now come on! In Seattle where my kids are it's probably raining like this too, but it's thirty degrees colder there.

SAM

And I'll bet they drive on paved streets that don't destroy their suspension. And their income doesn’t depend on the weather.

DAVE

True, true. But they can't go to work in shorts and a t-shirt. (This comment is in made in reference to Sam's attire, but Candy misses that).

CANDY

That's what I love about Paradise. Where else can you come to work in cut-offs and a tank top all year long? I don't even have any real clothes anymore! When I went-

[DAVE DOESN’T MEAN TO BE RUDE TO CANDY. NO ONE DOES. BUT THERE ISN’T ONE OF HER STORIES THAT THEY HAVEN’T LEARNED BY MEMORY. SHE DOESN’T GET ANGRY ABOUT BEING CUT OFF. SHE’S MOSTLY TALKING TO HERSELF ANYWAY.]

DAVE

(to Sam) What would you be doing if you weren't in Paradise?

SAM

Earning a living.

CANDY

Damn, Sam.

SAM

I’m serious. I just wrote a 30,000 colone check for the electricity, plus I have to pay rent for this place and the house, and I have to keep buying food in case I ever sell any.

CARLOS

I cook unos Surfing Special this morning!

CANDY

Three of 'em.

SAM

That's true, you did. If we continue that till two in the afternoon . . .

[ENTER JULIE WITH A BIG BACKBACK. SHE HAS A HUGE TRANSPARENT RAIN PONCHO OVER HERSELF AND PACK, BOTH OF WHICH SHE TAKES OFF AND LEAVES BY THE ENTRANCE.]

SAM

Look what the cat drug in!

JULIE

(Cheerfully) Shut up, you!

CANDY

Oh, God! You mean kids actually show up for school in this?

JULIE

It's just rain.

DAVE

Good morning, teacher.

JULIE

Good morning, David.

CARLOS

Buenos días, niña.

JULIE

Buenos días, Carlitos. (to Sam) I need coffee.

SAM

Yes. You do!

CANDY

What did he just call you? Niña?

JULIE

Yeah. That's what all the kids here call teachers: niña.

CANDY

Niña as in “little girl?” Why?

[JULIE SITS AT TABLE 4. CANDY BRINGS HER COFFEE.]

JULIE

(shrugs) Don’t know.

DAVE

Come on! Order up! Sam's bitching and moaning about money again.

SAM

I was not bitching and moaning. I was just -

JULIE

(looking at her watch) Unfortunately, I have to gulp all this hot coffee and run. If I'm late to school again I'm going to get a detention!

SAM

We can't have that.

JULIE

No.

CARLOS

Cómo la tratan los chiquillos?

JULIE

Bien—mas o menos. Como niños. (mimics her students) Miss Julie, Jason took my special pencil! Miss Julie, I can't think when Jose keeps making all that noise! Miss Julie, I have to go to the bathroom! Miss Julie, Carmen stuck her tongue out at me!

CANDY

I don't see how you do it. I'd kill 'em all.

DAVE

Candy, you don't really have that . . . teacher aura.

CANDY

God, no. God.

SAM

(to Julie) Did you see if Val's is open?

JULIE

Yeah, it is.

SAM

Wonderful! Because I'm going to have to send my favorite employee down there to get us more pancake mix and a package of napkins.

CANDY

Really! Carlos was just back here saying how much he loves you, Sam.

CARLOS

But Candy she is much more prettier!

CANDY

Yeah well what can I say?

JULIE

(of the rain) Where does it all come from?

SAM

And when will it stop?

DAVE

At Christmas.

SAM

Jesus. I mean do you realize that in other places you have income all year long? Here in Paradise you have to live on tropical sunsets and palm leaves half the year.

JULIE

Funny the brochures don't mention that.

SAM

Doesn't it amaze you that in the rest of the world, people can make phone calls from their very own houses? Hell, nowadays people have cell phones. They talk on the phone while they walk down the street!

CANDY

Yeah and they look like crazy people.

Remember automatic washers and driers? Remember dishwashers? And computers! Everybody at home sends messages through their computers—and here we are in 1999 with the pony express!

JULIE

Stop it, Sam. You're making me homesick.

DAVE

Isn't that what you came here for? The simple life.

SAM

Yeah – no. Well, yeah.

CANDY

Not me! I came here to get away from the traffic in LA. You can't even breathe that shit they call air, there.

SAM

I know. But don't you ever miss it?

DAVE

No.

CANDY

Hell no.

SAM

Well I do. Don't you ever want to go to a concert or a play or something?

CANDY

When I lived in LA with Bob, we went to the museums and plays every weekend. They have these really cool artsy little places that sell -

DAVE

I don't know. I'd rather stick some cold Imperials on ice and troll for sailfish.

SAM

Dave! Where's your culture?

DAVE

My rule is this: if I have to shave before I go, I ain't goin'.

SAM

Well you're a special case.

DAVE

That's what my teachers said - but they meant Special Ed!

[THIS IS A WITTY JOKE TO DAVE. HE'S MYSTIFIED AS TO WHY NO ONE ELSE THINKS SO.]

JULIE

(Looks at her watch) Shit! (swallows the dregs) I promise to pig out when I get my paycheck, Uncle Sam.

SAM

Oh, thanks.

JULIE

It won't make you rich but - it could be fun to watch!

[DAVE LAUGHS.]

SAM

I'm sure it will be.

JULIE

(Lays money on the table) See you guys later. Keep drinking coffee. Eventually it will make you happy.

ALL

Bye! Have a good day. (etc.)

[SHE SHOULDERS HER PACK, DRAPES THE WET PONCHO OVER HERSELF AND LEAVES.]

SAM

(continuing a conversation going on in his head) I've been thinking: if we ever went back to the States, we could move into Bev's parents' old summer house in Vermont. It's gorgeous there, peaceful - it's in the mountains - no scorpions, no tourists, no mildew or dust clouds. The winters are cold, but...

DAVE

Well -

SAM

This is my whole life! I didn´t come here to live like this. I wanted to write a book and run a little business for me and Bev. Turns out the little business takes all of my energy and most of my time.

[THE PARADISE CAFÉ SUFFERS A SUDDEN AND COMPLETE BLACKOUT. EVERYTHING ELECTRIC IS DEAD.]

CARLOS

Ay, por Dios!

CANDY

Oh, great. Now what are we-

SAM

See? See?

DAVE

And the electric might go out for no apparent reason.

SAM

And the electricity goes off even when I pay the bills.

CANDY

Are you sure it's today it's due? It wasn't last Friday?

SAM

Yes I'm sure.

DAVE

Like the Cooperativa guys are gonna be out in this cutting off people’s power!

CARLOS

I make hot water on the kitchen. (He means “on the stove” but it’s the same word in Spanish). Is gas.

[ENTER MOSES IN A RAINCOAT LOOKING LIKE A DROWNED RAT BUT NOT SEEMING TO NOTICE.]

MOSES

Well look at this: the die-hards of Paradise!

CANDY

Little wet there, Moses?

SAM

You fall in?

MOSES

Oh, come now. This is what makes the plants grow! (abruptly) Uh-oh! Uncle Sam, don't tell me you've had your electricity cut off!

SAM

Don't ask me what happened. It just snapped a second ago. You weren't just out in the rain, were you?

MOSES

I never miss my morning walk on the beach. Never. Hi, Carlos.

CARLOS

Hola, Moses. ¿Cómo está?

MOSES

Wonderful.

DAVE

He's crazy.

MOSES

I'm not crazy! It's beautiful to watch the rain over the ocean.

CANDY

I prefer watching the sun over the ocean.

[MOSES SITS AT TABLE 4.]

MOSES

(mock sympathy) Paradise is such a dreadful place.

CANDY

Sam has PMS today.

SAM

Yeah well. I put up with you when you have it.

CANDY

Hell, I have PMS every day until I have enough coffee and a few cigarettes. Coffee, Moses?

MOSES

Yes, please. Milk, no sugar.

CANDY

I know.

MOSES

Oh! Well aren't you marvelous!

CANDY

No compliments necessary, just tips.

DAVE

Ooo.

CANDY

Are you hungry? (Loudly so Carlos will hear) I heard Carlos say that he's just dying to make a Paradise Pancake on the camp stove.

CARLOS

(who is cubing fruit with a huge knife) La papaya, this one is very sweet and here is a fresh piña.

MOSES

A Paradise Pancake? Ohh . . . alright. So that Carlos won't die.

CARLOS

You save me!

CANDY

Be right back.

[SHE GOES INTO THE KITCHEN TO GET COFFEE. THERE IS STILL SOME WARM IN THE ELECTRIC POT.]

MOSES

(to Sam) Come to think of it, I didn't see any lights on anywhere just now. Must be the rain.

DAVE

How weird that rain can cut your power off.

SAM

Or they could be unrelated. Maybe it just went off. Damn, it is really coming down.

MOSES

And this is just the first day.

[CANDY BRINGS COFFEE TO MOSES]

SAM

What?!

DAVE

Is this like a hurricane or something?

MOSES

Yes. Just heard it on the radio about an hour ago. This is Tropical Storm Harriet.

SAM

Harriet?

CANDY

What I want to know is who picks the names-

[THEY ALL TURN TO THE SOUND OF A CAR ROARING UP TO THE CAFE. THE DOOR SLAMS AND EDUARDO BURSTS INTO THE CAFÉ IN A STATE OF GREAT AGITATION. HE HAS NOTHING TO PROTECT HIMSELF FROM THE RAIN AND GETS A GOOD DOUSING IN THE LEAP FROM HIS CAR TO THE RESTAURANT.]

(amused) Eduardo! Que pasa?

EDUARDO

Perdón, perdón. Con permiso, don Sam.

SAM

No problema. Pasa adelante. Uh . . . usted - muy agua.

EDUARDO

Sí, sí. Sam, vengo a hablar con usted.

SAM

[GETS UP POLITELY]

Sí? Qué pasa?

EDUARDO

Necesito que vaya conmigo ya.

SAM

Qué? Yo ir con usted?

EDUARDO

Sí.

SAM

Dónde?

EDUARDO

Necesito llevarlo al hospital. Hubo un accidente - por eso se fueron las luces. A su esposa doña Beverly la llevaron al hospital.

SAM

Beverly? En el hospital?

EDUARDO

Sí, don Sam. Se chocó el carro en contra de un poste de luz. Se la llevaron en ambulancia. Vamos al hospital!

SAM

Está, uh, bien Beverly?

EDUARDO

No sé nada. Vamos.

SAM

Vamos. Just a second - uh, un momento. (to the others) Bev had an accident. That's why the power is off. He's taking me to the hospital. (to Candy) Lock up if I'm not back.

ALL

Ok, Sam. Bye, Sam. Is she ok? (etc.)

SAM

I don't know.

ALL

Take care, Sam. We'll be fine. (etc.)

[SAM EXITS WITH EDUARDO. THE STAGE FADES TO BLACK BEFORE ANYONE CAN THINK OF ANYTHING WITH WHICH TO BREAK THE SHOCKED SILENCE—SILENCE, EXCEPT FOR THE RAIN. ]

ACT I

SCENE 2

[SAM AND BEV'S HOUSE LATER THAT SAME AFTERNOON. BEV LIES ON THE BED AND APPEARS TO BE SLEEPING. SHE WEARS A NECK BRACE AND HAS ONE ARM IN A CAST. SAM IS TALKING TO JULIE IN THE LIVING ROOM. IT IS STILL RAINING.]

JULIE

I heard about it at lunch. I gave my kids silent reading time almost all afternoon because I couldn't concentrate on anything.

SAM

It was that stupid Dinosaur's fault.

JULIE

What Dinosaur?

SAM

Oh, Dinosaurio. You know - that sleazy drug-selling Brazilian guy with the bright yellow van.

JULIE

Yeah.

SAM

It was him. He apparently came flying around that corner by Val's Grocery at like sixty miles an hour. Bev said she swerved and slammed in to that pole.

JULIE

Oh my God.

SAM

Well, she avoided a head-on. The police caught up with Dino and he was totally drunk.

JULIE

At seven AM?

SAM

At seven AM.

JULIE

Is he in jail?

SAM

Are you kidding? He's down at the Casa Del Mar drinking more beer and telling his buddies about it. I can't believe it. They should have locked that guy up years ago and no one even touches him. They say he's got like six kids in Malinche. With different mothers.

JULIE

Holy shit.

SAM

Drunk driving! The roads are bad enough with this rain!

JULIE

At least Bev's ok.

SAM

Yeah. She's kind of doped up but she's ok. She was so scared at the hospital! Can you imagine? She's in a car wreck and this ambulance comes and hauls her away. She's in pain, she doesn't know what's going on and she can't understand a damn thing anyone says…

JULIE

Poor thing.

[SAM REMEMBERS AND JUMPS UP]

SAM

Hey! Will you tell me what this says?

[SAM GIVES JULIE A BOTTLE OF THE PAIN MEDICINE PRESCRIBED FOR BEV.]

JULIE

Sure. It says (translating): "Take one with water every four hours for pain. For extreme pain, take more frequently." Gee that's helpful. "Do not mix with alcohol."

[SAM IS ABOUT TO SAY THANKS WHEN THERE IS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR. SAM'S

EXPRESSION SHOWS HIS SURPRISE THAT ANYONE BESIDES JULIE IS OUT IN THIS RAIN.]

CARTERO

Uuuuupe! Doña Beverly?

[MAILMAN APPEARS IN THE DOORWAY IN FULL RAIN GEAR.]

SAM

The mailman!

[GOES TO THE DOOR]

CARTERO

Buenas tardes, don Sam.

SAM

Buenos tardes. Usted, uh, trabaja lluvia?

CARTERO

Ah, sí, sí. Siempre trabajamos igual. Carta para usted, don Sam.

SAM

Ah! Muchas gracias. (quite surprised)

CARTERO

Muy bien. Hasta luego.

SAM

Ok. Adiós.

[MAILMAN LEAVES. SAM RETURNS, STARING AT THE LETTER IN HIS HAND]

Are all the planets out of line today?

JULIE

What?

SAM

My son wrote me.

JULIE

Oh?

SAM

Not usually a good thing.

JULIE

Why?

SAM

Oh - because. My son Austin is . . . complicated.

JULIE

Oh.

SAM

I've been thinking about closing the café.

JULIE

You have? What would you do?

SAM

That's why it's still open. I don't know. I've been thinking we should go back to the States but Bev won't hear of it.

[BEV HAS BEGUN TO AWAKEN.]

BEV

Sam. Sam?

SAM

She's awake!

[GOING TO HER.]

Hey honey, how do you feel?

BEV

Who's here?

SAM

Julie.

JULIE

[ENTERING THE BEDROOM]

Hi, Bev.

BEV

Hi, Julie.

JULIE

How are you?

BEV

I can’t move. Is it still raining?

JULIE

Still raining.

SAM

You haven't heard the latest: this is Hurricane Harriet.

JULIE

It's a good time to be bedridden. No use getting up.

BEV

Oh, I don't think I'm bedridden - maybe just for today.

SAM

You're damn right you're bedridden for the day.

JULIE

Are you in pain?

BEV

Not too much. They gave me some good drugs.

JULIE

And there’s more here when you need them.

BEV

How long did they say I have to wear this damn thing? (indicates neck brace)

SAM

At least a year.

BEV

Sam!

JULIE

Sam!

SAM

I'm sorry. Just until your head grows back onto your neck.

JULIE

Sam!

BEV

Sam!

SAM

I don't know. They gave you an appointment for next week. They'll probably tell you then.

BEV

I can't believe it. That guy came out of nowhere.

JULIE

Good thing you got out of his way.

BEV

I - I just can't believe...

SAM

It's ok, sweetie.

JULIE

Bev, I'm going home now. I just stopped in to see how you were and I'm so glad you woke up. You rest and don't worry about anything.

BEV

Thanks, Julie. That's sweet of you.

SAM

Yeah, thank you. I'd offer to drive you but . . .

JULIE

No problem. Time for a shower. See you later.

BEV

Bye.

SAM

Bye.

JULIE

Bye. Take care, huh?

BEV

I will.

SAM

You need anything?

[EXIT JULIE]

BEV

No. A new jeep.

SAM

Right. Anything we have in the kitchen?

BEV

No.

[SAM SITS ONTHE BED AND STARTS TO GET OUT THE LETTER.]

I'm so sorry, Sam. It was so stupid of me. I can't believe I wrecked our jeep.

SAM

Honey, it's ok. I'm so glad you're ok that I don't even care about that jeep. That guy could have killed you.

BEV

But Sam -

SAM

Insurance will pay for it.

BEV

Will they?

SAM

They have to!

BEV

But when? It took them a year to pay for Donny's motorcycle when he wrecked it.

SAM

Well, we'll wait.

[BEV NEARLY CRIES THINKING OF HOW SHE HAS DESTROYED THEIR ONLY VEHICLE.]

Is it really dead?

SAM

Really.

BEV

Oh my God! Your electricity bill! Oh, Sam. I ruined everything!

SAM

It's taken care of. Dave was going in today, too. He got it.

[BEAT]

BEV

Won't I look great walking around Paradise in this? What am I going to do about the beach?

SAM

Well I don't think-

BEV

I can't not go to the beach! Oh my God. Can you imagine stupid this will look with a bikini?

SAM

(amused) Hmmm.

BEV

(truly horrified) Can you imagine what color my neck is going to be when I get this off? And one arm? Pure white!

[SAM HAS A BIT OF A LAUGH AT HER EXPENSE]

Very funny.

SAM

Honey, I'm so glad you're ok I don't give a damn what color your neck is.

BEV

I know. I know.

[BEAT]

Thank God for Eduardo.

SAM

You know he came and got me right away. We got to the hospital about fifteen minutes after you.

BEV

What a nice man.

SAM

I wish I could understand him better.

[BEAT]

(looking at the rain) Hurricane Harriet.

BEV

Must be serious.

SAM

Looks serious to me. Serious enough to put the jeep into a pole and black out Paradise.

BEV

Oh!

[GROANS WHEN SHE THINKS OF THEIR SMASHED JEEP. SHE IMPULSIVELY TRIES TO BEND HER HEAD TO HER PALM BUT IS STOPPED BY A STAB OF PAIN.]

Ooowww!

SAM

Honey don't do that!

[SHOWING BEV THE LETTER]

Check this out.

BEV

Who's it from?

SAM

Austin. It came just now.

BEV

Austin as in Austin?

SAM

Yes. My own unbearable flesh and blood son.

BEV

Sam.

SAM

(putting it down) I don't want to read it.

BEV

You don't even know what he wants.

SAM

Yes I do. Sylvia´s probably in juvenile jail by now and he probably has another crazy idea about some business he wants to start, making disposable paper raincoats or something. And he wants to borrow money even though I've sworn to him a hundred times I don't have any.

BEV

I know, honey.

[BEAT]

SAM

But I wonder what it is this time.

BEV

I think we're lucky. If we didn't have Austin, we'd have no one.

[WITH HIS EYES SAM SUGGESTS THIS MIGHT NOT BE SO BAD AND BEV INFORMS HIM THAT HE IS BEING UNKIND. HE RIPS OPEN THE LETTER AND READS. RAIN. BEV WAITS.]

Oh for God's sake.

[READS SOME MORE. PUTS THE LETTER DOWN.]

Once again, you will never guess.

BEV

What, he's decided to come see this wild jungle for himself?

SAM

No. No, not quite. It's Sylvia.

BEV

Oh?

SAM

She was expelled from school. Something about "destruction of property" coupled with "disrespectful attitude and unwillingness to make amends." He says she has to do community service because the police have picked her up several times for loitering and breaking curfew.

BEV

That's too bad, poor girl.

SAM

You haven't heard the good part yet.

BEV

Oh no.

SAM

He wants to send her here.

BEV

Send her?

SAM

Send her. To us.

BEV

Oh-

[SHE FORGETS, MOVES WRONGLY AGAIN AND IS SHOT BY ANOTHER STAB OF PAIN]

Ooww! Oh, damn! Ugh! Are we supposed to reform her?

SAM

Well, listen to this: (reads) "She's only seventeen and I believe she would benefit from the opportunity to make a fresh start. I would like you to consider hiring her to work in your restaurant where she could learn responsibility and be out of contact with her good-for-nothing friends. Sylvia needs a strong hand and a wholesome environment."

BEV

He must not think you're such a bad father. He said "wholesome environment."

SAM

He's unloading his problem child on us.

BEV

Our granddaughter, Sam.

SAM

I know. I love Sylvia! I just wonder - did he ask her if she wants to come?

BEV

Probably not. No seventeen year-old would want to leave her friends. Remember when you were seventeen?

SAM

Right. With all the weed we smoked back then?

BEV

She can stay with us.

SAM

I can't believe he wants to send her here. He's going to ship her down here packing the kitchen sink! I can just see it: snake bite kits, malaria pills, chlorine tablets, gallons of sunscreen and a loaded gun! Oh and he said he’d feel a lot better if we got internet or at least a phone.

BEV

Ha ha! Well that would be nice, wouldn’t it? If only it was that easy—

[BIG SIGH FROM SAM]

BEV

Maybe he’s starting to open his mind a little. Instead of thinking this is such a godawful place. Good thing he isn't here now.

SAM

Yeah.

[PUTS LETTER BACK IN THE ENVELOPE AND LAYS IT DOWN. ANOTHER KNOCK AT THE DOOR. SELENE, WHO CLEANS FOR THEM SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK, APPEARS IN THE DOORWAY.]

SELENE

Buenas tardes. Don Sam?

BEV

Selene. Why is she here now?

SAM

I don’t know. (Not understanding why she has come and not exactly happy about it) Buenos tardes.

SELENE

Con permiso. Está - (seeing Beverly) Ah! Doña Beverly!

BEV

Buenos tardes, Selene. Pasa adelante.

SELENE

Gracias. Con permiso. Doña Beverly, como está?

SAM

Beverly tiene accidente. No más carro.

SELENE

Sí, sí. Aquí le traigo un arroz con pollo para que no cocinen ahora.

[SELENE INDIDATES A COVERED METAL POT THAT SHE IS CARRYING AND SETS IT ON THE TABLE]

BEV

Arroz con pollo?

SELENE

Sí.

SAM

Es para nosotros?

SELENE

Sí, don Sam. Para que doña Beverly no cocine. Para que descanse. Me dijeron que tuvo usted un choque de carro y me asuste muchísimo! "Ay, Dios!" dije yo. "Ojalá que no le pase nada!" Pobrecita! Le duele mucho?

BEV

(blank) No entiendo.

SELENE

La nuca y el brazo. (motions to her neck) Le duelen mucho?

BEV

Oh, uh . . .sí. Muy malo.

SELENE

Ay, pobrecita. Mañana les llego bien temprano para limpiar.

BEV

Mañana? Sí, bien.

SELENE

Y el carro?

SAM

Oh. El carro es . . . muerte.

SELENE

Oh no! Y ahora?

SAM

Ahora caminar.

SELENE

(laughs) Ay, don Sam! Quedamos iguales! Bueno, ya me voy. Hasta mañana.

BEV

Hasta mañana.

SAM

Gracias, Selene. See you tomorrow morning.

BEV

Gracias.

SELENE

Con mucho gusto.

[SELENE LEAVES. BEAT.]

BEV

She walked all the way over here in this rain to bring us dinner.

[SAM NODS. FADE TO BLACK. IT KEEPS ON RAINING.]

ACT I

SCENE 3

[THREE DAYS HAVE PASSED. HURRICANE HARRIET IS ENDING. THE SKY IS STILL FULL OF CLOUDS BUT THE RAIN HAS LET UP. IT IS EARLY MORNING. CARLOS IS IN THE KITCHEN PUTTERING, CANDY SITS AT TABLE 3 SMOKING AND DRINKING COFFEE. DAVE IS HAVING COFFEE AT TABLE 2. BEV ENTERS.]

BEV

Good morning.

CANDY, CARLOS, DAVE

Good morning, Bev! Good morning! How are you?

BEV

Oh, pretty good. I feel like a goose.

DAVE

Glad to see you up and around.

BEV

Thanks. I needed to get out of the house. Looks like it's going to clear up.

CANDY

Really?

BEV

Yeah. God, it's going to be hot when the sun comes out.

CANDY

Like a sauna.

BEV

Sam’s not here?

CANDY

No. Eduardo came by. Sam went off with him somewhere.

BEV

Oh no. Sam wasn't late with the rent, was he?

CANDY

I don't think so.

BEV

I hope not. Hola, Carlos.

CARLOS

Hola, doña Beverly.

BEV

Buenos días. How are you?

CARLOS

Pretty good.

BEV

I came to check on your supply of jelly and pancake syrup. And I thought I'd have a cup of coffee with my husband, but he's not here.

DAVE

Guess you'll just have to settle for me.

BEV

I guess I will.

[BEV SITS WITH DAVE]

CANDY

Carlos, do we still have enough jelly and syrup?

CARLOS

I don't know.

CANDY

Can you check?

CARLOS

Sí.

DAVE

So we might see the sun today.

BEV

I'm sure we will.

CARLOS

We have four jelly and one miel. For pancake.

BEV

Miel? That's syrup. And four jellies. I'll make another batch of syrup tomorrow.

DAVE

Hey, did you hear about the lady renting Peterson's?

BEV

No.

CANDY

Really? Who?

DAVE

I haven't met her but apparently there's some new lady there. She came here last year and loved Paradise Beach so much she sold her house in Texas and moved. She's renting the Petersons'. I guess the guys at the real estate office are after her because she wants to buy something.

BEV

Wow, it's great to hear of someone being excited about Paradise. All I hear is griping these days. She should talk to Sam.

CANDY

About real estate?

DAVE

Sam not a happy camper?

BEV

He isn't. The rainy season is always difficult because business is slow . . . And now the jeep's gone… It's a lot of hard work for a small reward.

DAVE

Paradise is its own reward, baby.

BEV

This thing with Dinosaurio is driving him crazy.

CANDY

That the cops aren’t doing anything to him?

BEV

Yeah. He's just getting away with it! Sam says what's the use of so much honest struggle in a place where criminals aren't even punished!

DAVE

Everybody's slow right now. I haven't taken out a fishing trip in two weeks.

BEV

I know—it’s easy to understand. You know. It's hard for him when things are slow. Then he thinks about his son who has so many problems…

DAVE

What does he want to do?

BEV

We had a talk about this last night.

[CARLOS BRINGS BEV A MUG OF COFFEE.]

Thank you, Carlos.

CARLOS

You welcome.

BEV

He thinks about going back.

CANDY

Oh my God. You guys can't leave!

BEV

We're not leaving, Candy, and I would appreciate it if this conversation stays at this table.

[CANDY IS NOT SO DUMB THAT SHE CAN'T TELL SHE'S SUSPECTED OF BEING A GOSSIP AND IS INSULTED ENOUGH TO THINK OF SOMETHING TO DO IN THE KITCHEN.]

CANDY

Oh, sure! Of course!

DAVE

Yeah, Sam's down. But wait till December when the place is packed all day and open late.

BEV

I know. Like every year.

[A BEAM OF SUNLIGHT SLIPS THROUGH A CRACK IN THE CLOUDS.]

BEV

Look! The sun! I knew it!

DAVE

I hafta see this to believe it.

BEV

Come on. Let's have a look.

[THEY GO TO THE DOWNSTAGE EDGE AND LOOK OUT INTO THE SKY OVER THE AUDIENCE. CARLOS BRINGS OUT A PLATE OF BREAKFAST THAT HE HAS MADE HIMSELF AND SITS AT TABLE 1 TO EAT IT.]

CANDY

Do you know who's renting Peterson's?

CARLOS

Petersons?

CANDY

Peterson's beach house?

CARLOS

No.

CANDY

I guess there's a new girl.

CARLOS

Oh.

CANDY

(Having failed to interest him, she tries again.) Yeah, Bev says Sam wants to leave.

CARLOS

(almost choking) Leave her?!

CANDY

No, not leave her! Leave Paradise.

CARLOS

No creo.

CANDY

What?

CARLOS

I don't believe it.

CANDY

Oh, he's just depressed. He'll get over it.

[CAFÉ DIMS AND ATTENTION SHIFTS TO BEV AND DAVE WHO ARE DOWN FRONT]

DAVE

I think you're right. Hurricane Harriet is history.

BEV

Did Sam tell you his granddaughter is coming?

DAVE

She is? He didn't say anything.

BEV

Yeah. Next month. She's going to work in the café.

DAVE

(sarcasticly) Candy will love that.

BEV

Candy will live.

[DURING THESE LINES, DENISE HAS WANDERED INTO THE PARADISE CAFÉ. BECAUSE IT'S SO EMPTY SHE THINKS MAYBE IT ISN'T OPEN YET. FADE UP ON CAFE]

DENISE

Hello?

CARLOS

Hello.

DENISE

Hi. Are you open?

CARLOS

Yes we are.

DENISE

Oh, good. Wow, last time I was here it was packed.

[BY THIS TIME DAVE AND BEV ARE RETURNING. ENTER BEHIND HER, CHATTING.]

CANDY

(in her fake for-customers voice) Good morning!

DENISE

Good morning.

[TO DAVE AND BEV, GETTING OUT OF THEIR WAY. DAVE AND BEV RETURN TO THEIR SEATS.]

Excuse me.

CANDY

Would you like to see a menu?

DENISE

Alright.

[SHE SITS AT TABLE 4.]

BEV

Good morning.

DENISE

Good morning.

[CANDY GIVES DENISE A MENU]

DAVE

Still no surfing for you today, Carlos.

CARLOS

No? Why?

DAVE

It's a mess out there. Onshore and ugly.

CARLOS

(getting up to return to work) I guess I borrow some more movies to Antonio and buy a six-beer.

DAVE

A six beer!

BEV

He is so cute! I just love him!

DENISE

Paradise Pancakes! Oh how cute! That's new! With pineapple, papaya, banana and chocolate chips? All of that's mixed in?

CANDY

Chocolate chips are mixed in. The fruit’s on top. It's fabulous.

DENISE

I guess I'll try that. And coffee, please.

CANDY

Alright. Carlos, Paradise Pancakes.

CARLOS

Está bien.

DENISE

(to Bev) I'm sorry to bother you, I was just wondering, do y'all live here?

BEV

Yes, we do.

DENISE

I thought you didn't sound like tourists. My name's Denise. I'm new in town. I just moved here from Texas.

[CANDY GIVES HER COFFEE]

CANDY

Oh, so you're the one we heard about!

BEV

Yes!

DENISE

What? You heard about me?

DAVE

News travels fast around here.

BEV

You're renting the Petersons'.

DENISE

Yeah! This is so weird! How did you know?

BEV

Well . . . Dave said.

DAVE

Hey, don't blame me. I heard it from Moses who watches Peterson's place.

DENISE

Oh my God.

BEV

What did you say your name was?

DENISE

Denise Wilson. And you?

BEV

I'm Bev. My husband Sam runs the cafe. This is Dave.

DAVE

Nice to meet you.

DENISE

You too. (to Bev) I'm sorry - did you have like an accident?

BEV

Yeah. Car accident. Remember Friday morning when the electricity was out for about four hours?

DENISE

Yes?

BEV

That was me meeting a utility pole in our jeep.

DENISE

My God! Are you alright?

BEV

A little sore.

CANDY

I'm Candy and that cute guy there is Carlos. Carlos!

CARLOS

Sí?

CANDY

Carlos, say hi.

CARLOS

Hi.

DENISE

Hi! Is he . . . Spanish?

BEV

Yes. But he speaks English, too. He's the greatest.

DENISE

Oh, that is so neat. I think the people here are just so nice. They're so friendly and so helpful!

BEV

You're right. They certainly can be.

DAVE

Yeah, they're nice and friendly but don't leave anything in your car.

DENISE

(crestfallen) Oh. Really? I mean I don't usually—but . . .

BEV

Dave, stop it. That's not fair. (to Denise) You have to use your head here, like anywhere else.

DENISE

Well, yeah. I can see that. And I was wondering—oh I'm so sorry! Here you are trying to have a your coffee in peace and I come barging in, just blabbering away-

DAVE

How could you?

BEV

Oh, please! Go ahead. We're all neighbors.

DENISE

Ok. I was just wondering if y'all know Spanish. Because I'm lost.

CANDY

Un poco.

BEV

Un poquito.

DENISE

Pokito? What's that?

DAVE

Me nada. No comprende español.

DENISE

No español? Me neither!

CANDY

Carlos does. His Spanish is perfect.

CARLOS

Ha ha.

CANDY

Sí, Carlos? Perfecto?

CARLOS

Perfecto, no. Nadie es perfecto.

CANDY

(delighted) See? I hate that! He always gets me back!

[ENTER MOSES]

MOSES

(seeing Bev) Madam Beverly. Look at you. Out of bed and dashing about like new.

BEV

Hi, Moses! I'm not dashing or new.

MOSES

Where did you get that lovely necklace?

BEV

Shut up.

MOSES

No, I think it's quite becoming on you! You should think about keeping it. (hugging her delicately) How are you?

BEV

Very well. The world is nicer through a codeine fog.

MOSES

Indeed.

[MOSES SITS AT TABLE 1.]

And isn't your husband supposed to be by your side taking care of you in moments like these?

BEV

You're right. He's abandoned me for a meeting with Eduardo.

MOSES

Business. (knows what this means) Oh no. (noticing Denise) Good morning!

DENISE

Hi.

MOSES

Bev, Dave, have you met Denise?

BEV, DAVE, DENISE

Yes.

MOSES

(to Denise) Don't believe anything anyone in Paradise tells you. They're all crazy.

DAVE

Guess I'm going to have to have to hunt my gardener down now that the rain stopped.

BEV

Why? He won't come back?

DAVE

Not until he's out of cash. I told him to come back when the sun comes out—"cuando va la sol." God only knows if he understood me.

MOSES

Let's ask Carlos. Carlos! Carlos!

CARLOS

Si?

MOSES

Una pregunta.

CARLOS

What?

MOSES

How do you say in Spanish, "when the sun comes out"?

CARLOS

When the sun come out? Cuando sale el sol.

MOSES

(to Dave) And what did you tell him?

DAVE

Cuando va la sol—or something like that.

MOSES

What's "cuando va la sol"?

CARLOS

(confused look) Something like—when the sun go.

DAVE

Damn.

MOSES

Dave, I think you'd better go look for him.

[CANDY COMES OUT WITH DENISE'S BREAKFAST. MOSES GOES BACK TO THE KITCHEN WHERE HE CHATS WITH CARLOS, GETS COFFEE AND SITS AGAIN.]

CANDY

Here you go. Paradise Pancakes.

DENISE

Oh my God! This is enormous!

CANDY

What about the rest of you? Breakfast, anyone?

DENISE

I can’t believe this.

DAVE

Yeah. I'll have what I always have.

CANDY

A Dave Special.

[GOES INTO THE KITCHEN.]

DAVE

(to Denise) So what did you think of your first hurricane?

DENISE

That was a hurricane? It didn’t seem like one.

DAVE

It was. We don't get the wind, just rain.

DENISE

I honestly thought I was going to drown! I've never seen anything like that! When I visited in February, everything was dry. I mean I know it must rain sometimes, I just had no idea it could rain so much and so long. I thought the ocean was going to fill up with all that water and wash us away. Last night it sounded so loud and so close I kept getting up to check and that the house was still on dry ground.

MOSES

Also, its new moon right now and that gives us extra high tides.

DENISE

Oh. I guess rain can't overflow the ocean.

DAVE

Not really.

DENISE

(to Bev) If your husband invented this, he should be very proud of himself.

BEV

Actually, Carlos invented that.

DENISE

He did?! It's so good!

BEV

I'm going to head home.

CANDY

Not waiting for Sam?

BEV

I don't think so. If the meeting is this long, it can't be good. I need to re-arrange some things at home to get ready for Sylvia.

CANDY

Who's Sylvia?

BEV

Sam's granddaughter. She's coming next month to stay with us.

MOSES

Really?! How wonderful!

DAVE

You going to put her to work?

BEV

That's the idea.

DAVE

A helper for Candy!

CANDY

Here?

BEV

That's right.

MOSES

She must be all grown up if she's coming alone.

BEV

She thinks she's grown up. She's seventeen.

MOSES

HA! I love the idea of Sam as a grandfather! It becomes him.

DAVE

Seventeen, huh? Watch out for Carlos back there.

BEV

Oh, I think it's her we're going to have to watch out for.

DAVE

Really?

MOSES

What do you mean, Grandmother Beverly?

BEV

Ask Grandfather Sam when he comes back; I sometimes talk too much. Must be the codeine.

[ALL SAY GOODBYES. EXIT BEV.]

CANDY

(to Moses) She said Sam wants to close this place down.

DAVE

Candy, she did not.

CANDY

She said he wants to leave.

DAVE

She said he's a little unhappy. You better get your story straight.

[CANDY PUTS DAVE'S BREAKFAST IN FRONT OF HIM.]

CANDY

I heard what she said.

MOSES

Candy. Dave. Stop this nonsense. No fighting allowed in Paradise. What on earth will Denise think?

DENISE

Oh, I don't think anything. I'm so full I can't think.

MOSES

Good. Don't let us disturb you. Now. What's this you're saying?

CANDY

Ask Dave.

MOSES

Dave?

DAVE

Nothing. Bev was just talking to me about Sam.

MOSES

Uncle Sam.

DAVE

Yeah. Uncle Sam isn't doing so well. I guess he decided Paradise isn't paradise.

MOSES

Isn't paradise? What is this…this heresy?

DENISE

I think its Paradise. Look how warm it is! In October! Everything's green and there are iguanas and monkeys right outside your door! And this is the most beautiful beach in the world. Everyone is so nice. No one hurries or worries. It’s not at all like America!

CANDY

Just wait till you've been here a while.

DENISE

I know I probably seem silly to y'all but it really is magical. When I came to Paradise and felt the energy in this place I knew it was the place for me. I knew it was worth anything.

[SAM ENTERS BUT BEFORE ANYONE CAN REGISTER HOW UPSET HE LOOKS, DAVE SPEAKS.]

DAVE

Sam! So how’s business with Eduardo?

SAM

Business is great. For him!

[BLACKOUT]

ACT I

Scene 4

[THE SCENE OPENS WITH THE SOUND OF THE ANCIENT DIESEL 4 PM BUS LEAVING. IT IS NOW NOVEMBER. SYLVIA HAS BEEN WORKING AT THE PARADISE CAFÉ FOR ABOUT A WEEK AND SHE DOESN'T LIKE IT. SHE HATES THE GREASE AND THE FLIES AND THE HALF-EATEN FOOD AND SHE REALLY HATES CANDY. SHE LIKES CARLOS BUT IS SHY AROUND HIM. HER JOB IS TO WAITRESS AND SHE WOULD BE GOOD AT IT IF SHE COULD WRING A SMILE OUT OF HER FACE. SHE MISSES HER FRIENDS AND HER CABLE TV AND THINKS THIS IS A TROPICAL VARIATION OF "MOUNTAIN FAMILY ROBINSON". AT 4, THE CAFÉ IS CLOSING. SYLVIA TAKES DIRTY DISHES INTO THE KITCHEN AND DUMPS THEM INTO THE SINK.]

SYLVIA

Is it 4 o'clock yet?

CANDY

Yeah. There goes the bus.

SYLVIA

Can we close?

CANDY

No we can't close. Not with people in here.

SYLVIA

Tshhh! You should put a big sign up - CLOSES AT FOUR.

JULIE

Oh, my God! Is it four already?

CANDY

Don't hurry. We're not going anywhere.

JULIE

I'm supposed to be at a teachers' meeting at 4:30.

[JULIE STARTS TO COLLECT HER STUFF. CARLOS HAS COME TO COLLECT DISHES AND SEES HER PREPARING TO LEAVE.]

CARLOS

Ya te vas?

JULIE

Sí, me voy. Tengo una reunión en quince minutos.

CARLOS

Usted trabaja mucho.

JULIE

Sí, verdad? Día y noche!

[RETURNING TO KITCHEN]

CARLOS

Eso es bueno, muy bueno.

DENISE

He likes you.

JULIE

He does not.

DENISE

Yes he does. I'm jealous. I think he's so cute.

JULIE

He is cute. Might not be so bad having a man who cooks.

DENISE

Oh, Jimmy used to cook when we first got married. Then he quit. So I divorced him!

[THEY GIGGLE.]

TOURIST 1

Excuse me, Miss?

SYLVIA

What?

TOURIST 1

Can I have another mango punch?

SYLVIA

Well, like, we close at four and-

CANDY

YES, Sylvia. Yes he CAN have one.

TOURIST 1

Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't realize you were closing.

CANDY

We don't throw people out, we just close when they stop coming in. We don't have anywhere special to go—we’re already in Paradise… (she laughs. This is her favorite joke with the tourists and lame as it is, they usually love it) You want to order something?

TOURIST 1

Oh, no. That's ok. I’ll be back here tomorrow. What do I owe you?

DENISE

Sam is going to kill her.

JULIE

Candy is going to kill her.

SYLVIA

I don't know.

[SYLVIA GOES TO THE KITCHEN TO LOOK FOR THE BILL. ENTER SAM. HE COMES IN EVERY DAY AT CLOSING TIME TO TALLY RECIEPTS AND DIVY OUT TIPS.]

SAM

Hey there.

ALL

Hi, Sam.

CANDY

Sylvia, we are all tired but you have to be polite to customers. Can't you smile?

SYLVIA

No, I can't smile! I'm going to puke on my shoes if I have to touch another plate of chewed-up food!

[PLUNKS HERSELF DOWN ON AT TABLE 2. CANDY, FURIOUS, IGNORES HER SINCE SHE CAN PASS THE PROBLEM OFF ON SAM. TAKES BILL TO CUSTOMER.]

TOURIST 2

I'll take my check, too.

CANDY

Alright. (to Tourist 1) Here you go. I'm so sorry.

SAM

What's the problem?

SYLVIA

Nothing.

JULIE

(to Denise) Let's go.

[THEY PUT SOME MONEY ON THE TABLE AND EXIT]

DENISE

Poor Sam. Did you hear Eduardo is raised the rent?

JULIE

I know.

SAM

You have a bad day?

SYLVIA

Yes.

[CANDY GIVES BILL TO TOURIST 2, WHO PAYS HER AND LEAVES]

SAM

What happened?

SYLVIA

Nothing! Nothing. I just want to go home. I hate it here. I wanna go back to Fatboy and Lizzy.

SAM

Those are your friends?

SYLVIA

Yeah. My friends. Paradise is stupid.

SAM

Well how was everyone else's day? Busy?

CARLOS

Yeah. Busy. I cook one hundred eggs and make cincuenta sandwiches.

SAM

Good! Candy, you're awfully quiet.

[CANDY LETS OUT AN EXPLOSIVE BREATH WHICH TELLS SAM JUST WHAT SHE'S NOT SAYING AND WHY. HE GOES FOR THE CASH BOX AND SITS TO COUNT WITH SYLVIA.]

SYLVIA

This was my dad's idea.

SAM

What?

SYLVIA

My dad's idea. He wanted to send me here.

SAM

Yes.

SYLVIA

I knew it. He said you invited me.

SAM

Sylvia, you've been invited here since the day you were born.

SYLVIA

But he wanted to send me here so I wouldn't see Fatboy and Lizzy. He hates them. He doesn’t care what I want. I’m going to throw up.

SAM

It seems a little gross at first, but you'll get used to it.

SYLVIA

No, I won't.

SAM

But you like Paradise, don't you? Isn't the beach worth it all? And just think how your friends are freezing right now and here you are getting a tan and--

SYVIA

This might be paradise for you people but it isn't for me.

SAM

It isn't for me, either.

SYLVIA

Dad says you think it is.

SAM

I don't tell your dad everything I think. See? You and I do have something in common.

SYLVIA

Can't I get a different job?

SAM

Like what?

SYLVIA

I don't know.

SAM

Sweetie, I don't have any different jobs. I'd like a different job right now, too, but I have to keep this one.

SYLVIA

You should retire.

[BEAT]

SAM

True. Didn't you have fun with Angela and Brett last night?

SYLVIA

No.

SAM

You stayed there watching movies untill midnight.

SYLVIA

I already saw all those old movies. The only movies you guys have here are old. And Angela's stupid.

SAM

Well.

[SYLVIA'S ATTENTION HAS SHIFTED TO SOMETHING JUST OFF STAGE RIGHT.]

If you just give it a chance I know you'll like it here. Besides, three months go fast and you'll be--

SYLVIA

Can I go?

SAM

--back home… What?

SYLVIA

Can I go?

SAM

You mean like leave?

[SAM LOOKS INTO THE KITCHEN FOR A SIGNAL FROM CANDY WHOS GESTURE SAYS "GET HER OUT OF HERE". WE CATCH A GLIMPSE OF DINOSAURIO JUST OUTSIDE THE CAFÉ. HIS APPEARANCE CHARACTERIZES WHATEVER THE DIRECTOR DETERMINES THE AUDIENCE WILL FEEL IS A VERY SCARY GUY.]

SYLVIA

Yeah.

SAM

Don't you want to wait for your money?

SYLVIA

No.

SAM

I guess so. Today you can go early.

[SAM SPIES DINOSAURIO]

SYLVIA

Ok.

SAM

Where are you going?

SYLVIA

The beach.

SAM

With him?

SYLVIA

Yeah.

SAM

That's Dinosaurio.

SYLVIA

I know.

SAM

Sylvia--(wants to warn her but doesn't have the heart to say anything Dino will hear)

SYLVIA

What?

SAM

Be careful.

SYLVIA

Yeah.

[BEAT.]

CANDY

Why did you let her walk off with Dinosaurio?

SAM

I don't know. I--

CANDY

This is bad.

CARLOS

Real bad. I know that guy. He a bad guy.

SAM

I know! I know he's a bad guy. He's a terrible guy! He almost killed my wife!

CARLOS

Don't let her be a friend of him.

SAM

I won't. She was better off with the juvenile delinquents in Chicago.

CANDY

Sam, forgive my big mouth, but your granddaughter, on the stroke of four, cleared this restaurant of all customers by announcing that it was four o'clock and we were closed!

SAM

Ok. I get it. She’s a problem. She's making your life difficult, she's making my life difficult. But she is here until January and she is going to work here and that's all there is to it. We're all going to have to bend a little bit, including her.

CARLOS

(giving Sam the most meaningful consolation he can) She is very pretty.

SAM

(understanding this gift) Yes. Thank you. She is pretty. Dino obviously thinks so too.

CANDY

I heard he killed somebody in Nicaragua.

SAM

Thanks, Candy!

CARLOS

Everybody in Nicaragua kill somebody.

CANDY

I'm just telling, you Sam. If I was you I'd be after her ass right now.

SAM

Bev's down there gathering shells. She'll watch her.

[FADE TO BLACK. END ACT I]

ACT II

Scene 1

[SAME AFTERNOON, ABOUT AN HOUR LATER. SAM ENTERS HIS HOUSE. BEV IS THERE SORTING A PILE OF SEASHELLS. HER NECK BRACE IS GONE BUT SHE STILL WEARS A CAST.]

SAM

I thought you were at the beach.

BEV

I was.

SAM

Where's Sylvia?

BEV

Sylvia is upstairs and she is very angry at me.

SAM

Why? What happened?

BEV

I made her come home.

SAM

Good.

BEV

Yeah, good! She made a new friend—guess who! Dino! Dino as in-

SAM

Dinosaurio. I know.

BEV

You know?

SAM

Well she chased all my customers out of the café at four according to Candy, and took off to the beach with Dino.

BEV

You LET HER GO?

SAM

Honey, I had to do the cash box! I can't let them close and go home without paying them. Besides, I knew you were down there…

BEV

Do you remember he is the man who almost killed me?

SAM

Yes. I know he's--

BEV

And a drug dealer and a murderer and a rapist for all we know.

SAM

I know! I know! I'm going to talk to her.

BEV

Good luck.

SAM

Why?

BEV

Because I marched over to her and made her come with me. Dino slithered away and I ruined her day and now she hates me and you and Paradise. She said she’s going to run away.

SAM

What did you do, embarrass her in front of him?

BEV

You're damn right I did. There's no way she's going to live here and hang out with those people. She is only seventeen years old.

SAM

Well thanks for getting her pissed off at us.

BEV

Thanks for letting her go off with him in the first place.

[EXIT SAM TO TALK TO SYLVIA. BEV CONTINUES. SAM KNOCKS ON A DOOR.]

SAM

Sylvia. Sylvia. Sylvia, let’s talk.

SYLVIA

I don't want to.

SAM

Well, I do. And I want to talk to you.

SYLVIA

Why?

SAM

Will you please open the door?

[A CLICK IS HEARD]

Let's go sit out in the hammockS. It's hot in here.

[SYLVIA COMES OUT. SHE GOES DIRECTLY OUTSIDE TO THE HAMMOCK ON THE PORCH, MAKING A FACE AT BEV WHO IGNORES HER. SAM SITS IN A CHAIR FACING HER.]

I guess you're mad at Bev.

[NO ANSWER FROM SYLVIA]

You really should be mad at me too, then, because I agree that you cannot hang out with Dinosaurio.

[NOTHING]

I'm sorry if Bev embarrassed you in front of him but, Sylvia, Dinosaurio is not the kind of person that is a benefit to Paradise.

SYLVIA

I like him.

SAM

I understand that. But he sells drugs. And it is not ok for you to be hanging around him. He's an alcoholic, a thief and possibly a murderer.

SYLVIA

He's nice to me.

SAM

I understand that. But, Sylvia, you're a very pretty young girl and I do not trust Dinosaurio to respect you. Do you understand me?

[SYLVIA ROLLS HER EYES]

He almost killed Beverly in a car accident where he was driving drunk on a slippery road at seven in the morning, and he's still free because even the police are afraid of him.

SYLVIA

He wasn't drunk. He told me.

SAM

Yes he was drunk. Most definitely. You have to stay away from him. I don't want to have to call your dad with any tragic stories about you.

SYLVIA

My dad doesn't care.

SAM

That's not true.

SYLVIA

Then why did he send me here? Why?

SAM

Well, I think he thought you might like it.

SYLVIA

Well I don't!

SAM

Well you probably would not believe how sad I am about that. We are family, and I was very excited about having you here and spending a few months with you. You're practically grown up and almost all I know of you is from when you were little.

SYLVIA

If I'm grown up then why can't I do what I want to?

SAM

Almost grown up, I said. Does your dad let you do whatever you want?

SYLVIA

Yeah.

SAM

Really?

SYLVIA

I told you—he doesn't care. He goes to work and his AA meetings. He lets me do what I want.

SAM

Is that why you got expelled from school?

SYLVIA

No.

SAM

Why did you get expelled?

SYLVIA

Because the principal is a bitch and she hates me.

SAM

That's why?

SYLVIA

Yeah.

SAM

Well. I like you. Very much. And so does Bev. Because of this and for your safety, we don't want you to go around with Dino anymore. Ok?

SYLVIA

You don't think I know anybody in Chicago who sells drugs? Shit. You should see my school.

SAM

I know, Sylvia. But Paradise is full of nice young people who would love to be your friends if you let them. Dino is off limits.

BEV

Iced tea, anybody?

SAM

Ooo! I'll take some. (beat) Sylvia?

SYLVIA

Yeah. (to Sam) I want to go home.

SAM

I don't think that's one of your choices. You can either choose to enjoy the sun and the beach for a few months, or you can decide to be miserable the whole time. People come here from all over the world and they love it. Surely you can find something to like about it.

[BEV BRINGS TWO GLASSES OF TEA. GOES BACK, BRINGS ONE FOR HERSELF AND SITS WITH SAM AND SYLVIA]

SYLVIA

Candy hates me.

SAM

Candy does not hate you.

BEV

Candy's just - different.

SYLVIA

Well I hate her.

SAM

Do you like Carlos?

SYLVIA

Yeah. He's ok.

SAM

So just try to ignore Candy and make friends with Carlos.

[SYLVIA GIVES SAM THE LOOK HE DESERVES FOR SUGGESTING A THING LIKE THAT IT BE POSSIBLE TO IGNORE CANDY.]

BEV

She can't very well ignore her boss --can you, Sylvia?

[SYLVIA DOESN'T ANSWER. NOBODY SAYS ANYTHING. FADE TO BLACK IN SILENCE.]

ACT II

Scene 2

[A MONTH HAS PASSED AND IT IS NOW DECEMBER. THE WEATHER IN PARADISE IS PERFECT, AND TOURISTS ARE RETURNING. SAM AND MOSES ARE WALKING ALONG THE BEACH DOWNSTAGE. CANDY, CARLOS, DAVE, DENISE AND TWO TOURISTS ARE IN A FREEZE IN THE CAFÉ. DENISE AND DAVE ARE HAVING COFFEE AT TABLE 3, TOURISTS AT TABLE 2, CARLOS AND CANDY ARE IN THE KITCHEN.]

MOSES

Oh dear.

SAM

It's the only thing I can do.

MOSES

Does Eduardo know this?

SAM

Eduardo doesn't care. He'll rent it to one of those tour outfits. They can easily pay him. I was making it. We were scraping by, but now there's no way. No profit.

MOSES

No - you're right. You aren't doing this for fun, you need profit to live on. So what will you do?

SAM

Nothing yet since the next few months are the good ones. We’ll be ok through the high season. But when the insurance payment for the jeep comes, I'm buying two one-way tickets to the US of A.

MOSES

I see.

SAM

We’ve been here eight years and maybe it’s just time to go. Bev loves it but I can’t go on investing my life in a business that never goes anywhere. If I worked this hard anywhere else, I would be a millionaire.

MOSES

Indeed.

SAM

Bev’s upset but she can see this isn't working out. She sells her shell sculptures but it's still not enough.

MOSES

Could you move the café to a different location? Lower overhead?

SAM

Where?

MOSES

We'll find you a place.

SAM

I don't think so, Moses. Eight years of eggs and sandwiches is enough. I need a change. I don´t want to worry anymore about whether the milk truck will come on Monday or Thursday.

[WHEN MOSES AND SAM NEAR THE CAFÉ, THE SCENE COMES TO LIFE.]

DENISE

He's going to kill her.

DAVE

Somebody should.

CARLOS

She don't like work here. She tell me she don't like see the eat food. She feel sick.

CANDY

(to Tourists 3 and 4) Everything alright?

TOURISTS 3 AND 4

Very good. Delicious, thank you.

DENISE

(seeing Moses and Sam) Good morning!

SAM, MOSES

Good morning!

DAVE

Beach still there?

MOSES

Still there.

[SITS AT TABLE 4. SAM JOINS HIM AFTER STRAIGHTENING OUT A FEW THINGS HERE AND THERE, WHICH HE DOES WITHOUT THINKING.]

SAM

Where's Sylvia?

CANDY

Don't know.

SAM

What? You mean she --

CANDY

Thought maybe you gave her the day off again.

SAM

No, I did not.

DENISE

I can personally understand. I would hate to work in a restaurant. No offense, Sam! I didn't mean that, I just meant -- I don't know. Restaurant work is not for everybody.

SAM

I agree. But Sylvia needs to understand that we have to do things we don't like, sometimes. I'm not wild about restaurant work myself. Anyway, she's probably at home sleeping because last night she came home at three. I could kill her.

DENISE

Where was she?

SAM

She said she was at the beach with some kids from California. She said they made a bon fire and fell asleep.

DENISE

You believe her?

SAM

I don't know. But it doesn't matter. She scared the shit out of us - we were ready to call the police.

CANDY

You don't think she was off with Dino, do you?

DAVE

Oh, shit. Not Dino.

SAM

I don't know. I have no idea. What I do know is that the milk truck is due today. Has he come yet, Candy?

CANDY

Yeah. He was here.

SAM

Get everything?

CANDY

Yeah. Except helados. No hay helados.

SAM

No hay helados?!

DENISE

What's eladoz?

CANDY

He said he'll have it next week.

SAM

Next week!

MOSES

Helados is ice cream.

SAM

So when we run out of ice cream, we have no more milkshakes until next week.

CARLOS

We already run out.

SAM

Well. There you have it.

TOURIST 3

Excuse me. May I order a melon milkshake?

CANDY

I’m sorry, but we can’t make shakes right now—the dairy truck was just here and they had no ice cream for us.

TOURIST 4

Paradise just isn't paradise without fruit shakes!

CANDY

I know. I'm so sorry.

SAM

If you notice, it's the beach that's called Paradise. Back off the fifty-meter zone, it should be named after some place a lot hotter!

DENISE

(having missed the hint of bitterness in his voice, laughing) Sam you are so funny! Where do you come up with these things?

SAM

Well gee, I’m glad you think so.

CANDY

(to Tourists) I could make you smoothies, which is the fruit blended in ice.

TOURIST 4

Alright. The low-fat version of the fruit shake.

CANDY

Exactly.

TOURIST 4

That would be lovely. May I ask you a question, Miss?

CANDY

Anything you like.

TOURIST 4

Is there an internet café in this town? I need to contact my office—

[THE RESIDENTS OF PARADISE SNORT, ROLL THEIR EYES, ETC.]

CANDY

No, I’m afraid not.

SAM

You can’t even get a phone around here!

TOURIST 4 AND 3

Really? Seriously?

CANDY

We don’t have an internet café but you can make a phone call or send a fax at Val’s Supermarket.

SAM

I'm going to find my granddaughter and drag her ass out of bed.

MOSES

Be nice, Sam.

SAM

I'm too nice.

[EXIT SAM]

DENISE

He just kills me! Poor Sam. He works so hard. But he says the funniest things, and when he's mad he's even funnier! Sometimes I feel sorry for him, though. I mean - if you can't be happy in Paradise, where can you be happy?

MOSES

Let me ask you a question.

DENISE

Ask me.

MOSES

Do you think "Paradise" really exists?

DENISE

(flustered by what she feels is a philosophical question) Oh God, Moses! Next you're going to ask me if I believe in reincarnation or something.

DAVE

(holding up a piece of ham) Gee, I could be eating my grandmother!

MOSES

Tell me, Denise.

DENISE

Well, I mean, probably not. I mean, "paradise" is supposed to be a perfect place and no place in the world is perfect. Like even here that goddamn road is so bad. And there are ants and mosquitoes and scorpions. And when it rains the beach is really dirty. It isn't always perfect.

MOSES

So you say it doesn't exist?

DENISE

Well - no. Not really.

MOSES

Dave?

DAVE

You should know better than to ask me, Moses. I'm too cynical to believe in things like "paradise." That's like believing in Jesus and the tooth fairy.

MOSES

Jesus and the tooth fairy. Hmm. (to Tourists) Would you like to join our survey? I'm taking a survey to see how many people believe that "paradise" actually exists. What do you say?

TOURIST 3

Paradise? We're here, aren't we?

TOURIST 4

It certainly seems like paradise to me. Compared to London, it’s paradise.

MOSES

Why?

TOURIST 3

Because - it´s warm and the air is clean and natures is . . . free, and -

TOURISTT 4

The monkeys woke us this morning! Not the bloody alarm clock. Monkeys!

MOSES

So you vote yes?

TOURIST 4

I vote yes. Of course Paradise exists. I believe in it.

TOURIST 3

I don't know. If perfection is a requirement I'd say no because the world is imperfect. But if beauty and . . . peace are enough to make Paradise? Then I say yes.

MOSES

Well said. Candy? Carlos?

CARLOS

I think it's true. I think it could be somewhere there is "paradise." I think when somebody is happy then you are in paradise.

CANDY

I think probably "paradise" exists in lots of places where there are no people - or used to exist. When people go to a place they can always find something wrong with it. Or they ruin it.

DENISE

That's true! I should have said that!

DAVE

What good is a paradise you can't go to?

CANDY

Smart-ass.

MOSES

We have three "no's", two "yes’s" and one "maybe." Very interesting.

DENISE

What about you, Moses? You have to vote.

MOSES

I agree with my friend Carlos. "Paradise" is in your mind. Some people find it everywhere. Other people, no.

DENISE

You're such a philosopher, Moses.

MOSES

Not really.

[THE ELECTRICITY IS SUDDENLY CUT OFF]

CARLOS

Se fue la luz.

CANDY

Se fue la luz? Not again!

DENISE

What's that mean?

DAVE

The electricity went off.

DENISE

How did you know that?

DAVE

Well, the radio stopped, and the –

DENISE

No! I mean how did you know what they said? You're like me! You're not supposed to understand Spanish.

DAVE

I don't, but everybody knows what "se fue la luz" means.

DENISE

Oh. (tries it out) “Say fweyla loose.”

CANDY

I saw the phone company trucks out there this morning. Probably cut something they weren't supposed to. Now they have to call out the electric company to fix their mistake.

[ENTER SYLVIA LOOKING HUNG OVER AND UNHAPPY]

DENISE

Good morning, Sylvia.

MOSES

There's our pretty sleepy-head.

CANDY

So they got you up, huh?

[SYLVIA GOES STRAIGHT TO THE COFFEE POT.]

SYLVIA

Why is it off?

CARLOS

The electric go off.

SYLVIA

Why?

CARLOS

I don't know. It go away.

[SHE SNICKERS]

CANDY

Late night?

SYLVIA

Yeah.

CANDY

Luckily we haven't been too busy yet because the tide's coming in and the surfers are out. We'll probably get hit in about two hours.

[SYLVIA SITS AT TABLE 1.]

CARLOS

You want some eggs?

SYLVIA

No! No eggs!

DAVE

A little hung over, are we?

SYVLIA

(lying) No.

[CARLOS BRINGS A PLATE OF BREAKFAST AND SITS AT TABLE 1.]

MOSES

You sit down, Carlos. You work too much!

CARLOS

That's life.

DAVE

What's Sam doing?

SYLVIA

Calling my dad.

DAVE

Oh.

DENISE

That's nice. Your dad must miss you.

SYVIA

Right.

DENISE

I have a son about your age and I miss him all the time. I swear you never get used to being away from your kids!

SYLVIA

Mmm.

MOSES

Sylvia, have you gotten a chance to see the sea turtles nesting yet?

SYLVIA

No. We looked for them last night but we didn't see any.

MOSES

They don't come up onto Paradise Beach anymore. You have to go to Playa Tortugas where there are fewer people and less light at night. I can't believe Uncle Sam and Bev haven't taken you.

SYLVIA

Tshh! They fall asleep at like eight o'clock.

MOSES

Well, so do I.

SYLVIA

Now they're mad at me. They think I'm a baby.

CARLOS

They not mad. They afraid.

SYLVIA

Of what?

CARLOS

You a pretty girl and very young. That's why they afraid.

SYVLIA

I'm not afraid.

CANDY

Well, maybe you should be.

SYLVIA

Well, maybe I'm not.

[LIGHTS FADE TO BLACK]

ACT II

SCENE 3

[ABOUT TWO WEEKS HAVE PASSED. IT IS NEARLY 7 AM. THE CAFE APPEARS TO BE OPEN, BUT ONLY COFFEE IS BEING SERVED. SAM, CANDY, CARLOS, MOSES, EDUARDO AND TOWNSPEOPLE LINDA, MANUEL AND KATIA ARE GATHERED. SAM LOOKS LIKE HELL.]

SAM

Bev's staying at the house in case she turns up there and Julie’s waiting for the police station to open at seven.

MOSES

Do you have any idea where she might be?

[ENTER DENISE, VERY AGITATED]

DENISE

Good morning, everybody. Sam, I’m so sorry! I came running over as soon as Dave called me. I can’t believe it. Did you call the police?

MOSES

Julie's there.

DENISE

What should we do? Form search parties?

SAM

I, uh, think ...

CANDY

Yes, we should, but let’s wait and see who else shows up. Where did you say she went?

[ENTER DAVE FOLLOWED CLOSELY BY WILSON, VAL AND MONICA. THEY ENTER WITH LESS COMMOTION THAN DENISE.]

SAM

She said yesterday that she was going to see the turtles with Brett and Angie. But I called Monica at 2 in the morning because she wasn’t back. And she said they didn’t go.

MONICA

They both did homework last night and went to bed.

EDUARDO

I think we look Sylvia. No wait the policemans.

WILSON

I agree. I was in the San Diego P. D. for twenty years and I can advise you, Sam. Don’t wait.

SAM

Of course.

WILSON

I've seen these guys work. They don't investigate; they break up bar fights and fill out papers. Don't wait for them.

[ENTER PABLO AND MANUEL]

Carlos, will you tell them?

CARLOS

Yes. Que no esperemos a los policías. El era policía en Los Estados.

WILSON

Someone should call the radio and tv stations and give a description of her to be put out over the air. Do you have a recent photo of her?

[SAM SHAKES HIS HEAD NO.]

WILSON

Did she take anything with her?

SAM

She took a backpack with some clothes, and her passport, and probably money.

WILSON

Did she take everything?

SAM

No.

WILSON

But it seems that she planned to be gone for at least some time?

SAM

I don’t know. It looks like she planned to go somewhere. She took her shampoo.

WILSON

You may not believe it, but this is good. We should see if we can get a picture of her, and put up posters at the beaches along the coast, and in the towns around. Call immigration and the airport to see if she´s tried to leave the country. Sorry, Carlos.

CARLOS

Que llamemos las emisoras de radio, y el aeropuerto, y migración. Y que avisemos a la gente en los otros pueblos y playas. Y que pongamos anuncios con fotos de ella. Parece que se llevó un bolso como si iba de paseo.

[ENTER JULIE WITH POLICIA]

JJJULIE

Pase adelante. He needs to talk to you, Sam, since you’re her guardian.

SAM

Sure. Buenos días.

POLICIA

Buenos días.

[DURING THE FOLLOWING CONVERSATION WILSON, LINDA AND PABLO ORGANIZE THE PEOPLE INTO GROUPS OF THREES AND FOURS. CANDY IS NOT INCLUDED IN THE GROUPS. THREE GROUPS LEAVE. THE LAST GROUP WITH MANUEL, DENISE AND MOSES, STAYS.]

POLICIA

La muchacha es nieta de él?

JULIE

Sylvia is your granddaughter?

SAM

Sí.

POLICIA

Cuándo es la última vez que la vió?

JULIE

When did you last see her?

SAM

Bev saw her about four o'clock yesterday afternoon. Tell him she's only seventeen.

JULIE

Uh-huh. Ayer a las cuatro de la tarde. Tiene apenas diecisiete anos.

POLICIA

Menor de edad.

JULIE

Sí.

POLICIA

No tienen idea en donde estaría? Algún lugar donde haya ido?

JULIE

No sabemos donde está. No está en la casa y no está en la playa. No sabemos donde está. Pero se llevó un bolso de cosas personales, como si planeaba salir. También sabemos que es amiga del muchacho que le dicen Dinosaurio.

POLICIA

El Brasileño que anda el pelo así (motions)?

JULIE

Correcto.

SAM

He knows Dinosaur?

JULIE

Yeah.

POLICIA

Ella podría andar con él?

JULIE

No sabemos.

SAM

Where does Dinosaur live?

JULIE

Dónde vive el muchacho Dinosaurio?

POLICIA

No sé. En Aguahonda, seguro.

JULIE

He thinks Dino lives in Aguahonda.

POLICIA

Vea. Dígale al señor que lo lamento pero no podemos hacer nada hasta que esté desaparecida por más de veinte y cuatro horas.

JULIE

Pero -

POLICIA

O sea - no puedo hacer nada todavía. Pero en cuanto tengamos algo, los avisamos de inmediato. Cómo es ella?

JULIE

Twenty four hours. They can't do anything before twenty four hours.

SAM

My God.

JULIE

I know. But he said they'll tell us if they find anything out. He asked me to describe her.

SAM

Right.

JULIE

Bueno, ella es joven con pelo largo colór café con colochos. Usaba un pantalón corto de mezclilla y una camiseta roja ayer cuando la vieron por última vez. Y una gorra verde y azul.

[PLEASE MODIFY JULIE’S DESCRIPTION OF SYLVIA ACCORDING TO ACTOR’S APPEARANCE.]

DENISE

Don't worry, Sam, we all divided up and were covering all of--

CANDY

Did you tell him she’s a minor?

SAM

Yes.

POLICIA

Le aviso, entonces, cualquier cosa.

JULIE

Está bien.

POLICA

A las cuatro si no la han visto, vaya a la oficina y hacemos el reportaje de persona perdida.

JULIE

Está bien. Muchas grácias.

POLICIA

A la orden.

[EXIT POLICIA]

JULIE

(explaining to Manuel) --que no pueden hacer nada hasta que pasen veinte y cuatro horas.

MANUEL

Qué brutos. Qué barbaridad.

MOSES

(kindly halting Candy who is about to start in) Let me talk to him. Sam, we decided to follow Wilson’s lead in this.

SAM

Good.

MOSES

Candy is going to stay here and run the café as a meeting point. Wilson is going to do the calling and coordinating - airport, the police, immigration ... all that. Dave will go around to the Paradise businesses with Linda. Eduardo is taking some people to Aguahonda. See if she’s there. Pablo is going up the coast to some other towns, and Denise and Manuel are going to keep an eye on the road into town.

CANDY

We're just doing coffee today, Sam. That will free Carlos up to look for Dino. I can explain to customers what’s happening. The more people who have an eye out for her, the better.

SAM

I sure appreciate what all you people are doing.

DENISE

I don’t understand a word this nice young man says, but he knows the roads and I have my new Toyota, so we’re going to go for it.

SAM

Thanks, Denise.

[EXIT DENISE AND MANUEL]

MOSES

I’m going to join Dave and Linda. You get some rest, Sam. Leave the work to us for a little while.

[ENTER BEV]

BEV

Hi there.

SAM

(startled) What happened?!

BEV

Nothing. I wanted to see what was going on here. Selene’s at the house.

SAM

Wilson’s organized people to go all over the area and he’s taking care of calling -

BEV

And the police?

CANDY

They can’t do anything for twenty four hours.

BEV

My God.

CANDY

I’m staying here to keep the cafe open - coffee only - and be a contact point.

MOSES

Your job and Sam’s is to go home and rest.

CANDY

My son had this friend in LA who disappeared when they were like thirteen. The kid was gone for three days and they had the cops looking for him and posters everywhere and the parents were freaking out and he just walked in the door like nothing. Turns out he took a bus to Tijuana because he thought he could run away to Mexico. But when he realized they wouldn’t let a kid across the border with a passport and no parents, he had to come home. His parents swore they wouldn't let him out of their sight again but he ran away for real about a year later.

BEV

(absentmindedly) Really?

[BEAT]

I couldn't sleep last night and now I can't stay awake. I heard every footstep, every car motor, every dog bark, every door that opened and closed in Paradise.

CANDY

Go home and sleep, you guys. I'll -

SAM

There’s no way I could sleep. I'm going to walk the beach.

MOSES

Good idea. I'll come along.

SAM

I can’t just sit.

BEV

It sounds like you've thought of everything, but if you need anything, I’ll be at home.

SAM

Ok, honey.

CANDY

Thanks, Bev. You rest, now.

JULIE

I’ll walk back with you.

[EXIT BEV AND JULIE. CANDY MOVES TO REPLENTISH THE COFFEE SUPPLY AND FREEZES NEAR THE COUNTER AS THE LIGHT ON THE CAFE COOLS. LIGHTS WARM DOWNSTAGE ON THE "BEACH" WHERE SAM AND MOSES MOVE SLOWLY, SAM WARILY WATCHING ALL SIDES, MOSES CONCENTRATING MOSTLY ON SAM.]

SAM

…and if I have to tell him something happened to his daughter in Paradise, I don't know what I'll do. He was finally opening his mind a little... This can't be happening.

MOSES

Believe she's alright, Sam. She hasn’t simply disappeared because she took some personal things. Where ever she has gone, someone will find her. These things happen and there is always an explanation.

SAM

But in Paradise?

MOSES

Paradise is in your mind.

SAM

We haven't seen Dino, either.

MOSES

I doubt if Dino is ever up this early. We had to get that policeman out of bed. Ha!

SAM

I swear when I catch that girl, if she dared to run away with him, I'm sending her straight back to her father. Her friends in Chicago may loiter and smoke pot and steal from convenience stores, but she's better off with them than with the Brazilian criminal of Paradise.

[BEAT]

I thought she was doing better. She was mad at us when we told her she couldn't hang out with those guys but she kind of got over it. Candy said she did better at work.

MOSES

She did. I think she really likes Carlos.

SAM

Carlos is a sweetheart.

MOSES

There's no one out here yet.

SAM

Maybe we should go somewhere else. To Malinche? She could be there.

MOSES

I think we should just stay here at the beach. Someone should be here watching for her. If she's in Malinche, Val and Pablo will find her. I'm sure that's the first place they'll go.

SAM

Goddammit. Did she run away? Really? Or maybe. . . something happened. She couldn’t have been taken against her will. Could she?

MOSES

You have to believe she’s ok, Sam. She’s somewhere. And either she will come back, or we will find her. You have to believe that.

SAM

I have to call Austin.

[BEAT]

I have to call him. It will be worse if I wait.

[LIGHTS FADE ON "BEACH". MOSES AND SAM FREEZE. THERE IS THE SOUND OF THE 8 AM BUS PULLING UP AND LEAVING DURING THE FOLLOWING ACTION. CANDY, IN THE HALF-LIGHT OF THE CAFE, ERASES THE MENU FROM THE WHITE BOARD AND WRITES: "SYLVIA LOST IN PARADISE. HOURS MISSING: 16" SHE BRINGS A BOX FROM INSIDE THE CAFE AND WRITES ON THE OUTSIDE: "SEARCH FUND DONATIONS". LIGHTS FADE TO BLACK.]

ACT II

SCENE 4

[IT IS ABOUT NINE AM AT SAM AND BEV'S HOUSE THE FOLLOWING DAY. THEY HAVE ALREADY BEEN AWAKE FOR AT LEAST FOUR HOURS. SAM AND BEV ARE SITTING CATATONICALLY ON THE PORCH. SELENE IS INSIDE CLEANING. THE SCENE OPENS WITH SILENCE, THE SOUNDS OF BIRDS AND SELENE BUMPING AROUND IN THE HOUSE.]

SAM

What time is Denise coming to pick us up?

BEV

At ten.

[BEAT]

Candy said Pepe's Taco Place and La Cocina in Playa Tortugas donated all their proceeds from last night to the search fund.

SAM

Mmmm.

[BEAT]

She's in the country! Her passport is gone, but she's still here because the embassy said she hasn't exited, and now if she tries she'll be detained in the airport.

BEV

Wherever Dino is, he can't hide forever with that yellow van and if she isn't with him, he must know where she is.

SAM

Not with him! Of course she's with him! He's been missing as long as she has. My God.

BEV

Well, the police can help us now. Somebody somewhere has to have seen her. She has to be sleeping somewhere. She has to be eating something.

[SILENCE AS BOTH MENTALLY CROSS THEIR FINGERS THAT THIS BE THE CASE.]

SAM

What am I going to say when I see Austin?

BEV

He knows this isn't your fault.

SAM

Of course it is.

BEV

It isn't. He’ll see how the community is responding, the donations, the twenty-four-hour beach and road watches. He’ll see that her picture is plastered all over the province and that the radio stations have been giving descriptions of her in Spanish and English since six o'clock last night.

SAM

Yeah.

[A CAR IS HEARD APPROACHING SLOWLY.]

Someone's coming.

BEV

Eduardo.

SAM

He spent all yesterday in Aguahonda waiting for Dinosaur. I think he spent the whole night there, too.

BEV

He's driving like he did.

SAM

Rent-shark. He lives off the--

[THEY FALL SILENT AS THE VEHICLE STOPS JUST OFF STAGE. A DOOR OPENS AND THEN CLOSES. ANOTHER DOOR IS HEARD OPENING AND BEFORE IT CLOSES WE CAN SEE BY SAM AND BEV'S RESPONSE THAT SYLVIA IS WITH HIM. BEV STANDS. IT IS NOT EVIDENT FROM THE LOOKS ON THEIR FACES IN WHAT CONDITION SYLVIA HAS RETURNED.]

Oh my God.

[AN OBVIOUSLY-EXHAUSTED BUT CALMLY TRIUMPHANT EDUARDO COMES ON STAGE WITH HIS HAND ON SYLVIA'S SHOULDER, AS IF GUIDING HER. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HER EXCEPT THAT SHE IS MADDER THAN A HORNET AND THOROUGHLY HUMILIATED. THIS WAS NOT WHAT SHE HAD IN MIND. A BACKPACK IS SLUNG OVER HER SHOULDER AND HER HAT IS PULLED DOWN OVER HER EYES. WHEN SHE GETS NEAR THE PORCH, EDUARDO STOPS. SYLVIA CONTINUES ON. SAM STANDS AND STOPS HER.]

SAM

Sylvia where were you!!

[NO ANSWER]

Goddammit, where were you?! We didn't even know if you were alive! We thought--

[SAM ABRUPTLY PUSHES SYLVIA AWAY AND GOES INTO THE HOUSE. NOW BEV HUGS SYLVIA.]

BEV

Sylvia, are you alright?

SYLVIA

Yeah.

BEV

(Stepping back, holding Sylvia by the shoulders) What happened to you?

SYLVIA

Nothing. I'm ok. I have to go to the bathroom.

[BEV LETS SYLVIA ENER THE HOUSE. SHE GOES TO EDUARDO AND THEY HUG EACH OTHER. THIS IS AN EMOTIONAL SCENE, BUT WEEPING SHOULD BE MINIMAL. JULIE ENTERS THE STAGE ON HER BICYCLE AND DISMOUNTS]

BEV

Gracias, Eduardo. Gracias. Gracias.

EDUARDO

Si, señora. Gracias a Dios.

BEV

Venga. Sientarse.

[MOTIONS TO EDUARDO TO SIT ON THE PORCH. JULIE APPROACHES.]

JULIE

I was riding down the street when I saw him coming with her.

[EXCHANGES EMBRACES WITH BEV AND EDUARDO. AS THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE IN THIS SCENE GROWS, WE SEE THEIR CLOSENESS IN THEIR GREETINGS - HUGS AND MOST HAVE ADOPTED THE LATIN AMERICAN CUSTOM OF KISSES ON THE CHEEK.]

EDUARDO

Ella está muy bien. No le pasó nada.

BEV

Sí. Muy bien.

JULIE

¿Dónde estaba?

[SAM RETURNS TO THE PORCH.]

BEV

Where is she?

SAM

She went to her room. She's pretty upset.

BEV

(to Eduardo) Tell us.

SAM

¿Ella está con Dinosaurio?

EDUARDO

Sí.

BEV

No.

SAM

Holy shit, I am going to kill him. I'm going to kill him! He's going to jail for sure, now, because she's a minor. I'm sending her back to Chicago and him to hell.

EDUARDO

(to Julie) Dígale que no se enoje, que fue el muchacho ese quien la entregó.

JULIE

¿La entregó?

EDUARDO

Sí.

JULIE

Dino brought her back - turned her in.

SAM

Where? Where was she?

EDUARDO

Vean. Yo estaba en camino a Malinche para hablar con el jefe de policías cuando veo el carro amarillo de ese Dinosaurio.

JULIE

¿Dónde?!

EDUARDO

El venía del lado de San Jerónimo.

JULIE

¿De San Jerónimo? He was going to Malinche - ¿Cuándo? ¿Ahora?

EDUARDO

Sí.

JULIE

--this morning to talk to the police when he saw Dino’s yellow van coming from the direction of San Jerónimo.

SAM

Yeah?

[DAVE AND LINDA COME HURRYING ON STAGE BUT APPROACH QUIETLY WHEN THEY SEE THAT EXPLAINATIONS ARE STILL BEING GIVEN. LINDA MOUTHS THE WORDS "Where is she?" AND RECEIVES A GESTURE FROM BEV INDICATING THE HOUSE.]

EDUARDO

Yo lo vi que venía y di vuelta y lo seguí. Me hice al lado suyo y lo saqué de la calle. Lo hice que se saliera y que parara.

JULIE

Espere. So he followed him - Dino - and ran him off the road.

[GENERAL EXCLAIMATIONS.]

EDUARDO

Ya vi que la muchacha andaba con él y que estaba bien. Me bajé y le dije que qué diablos estaba pasando, que todo el mundo la estaba buscando desde anteayer. El dijo que sí, que no lo sabía, que él la llevó a pasear creyendo que don Sam había dado permiso. Ella le dijo que tenía el permiso del abuelo para ir a Santa Cecilia.

BEV and SAM

Wait! Stop! What?

JULIE

He got out of the car and asked Dino what the hell is going on. Dino said that Sylvia told him you gave her permission to go to Santa Cecilia with him.

[GENERAL EXCLAIMATIONS]

SAM

WHAT?! My permission?!

BEV

Do you think he was telling the truth?

JULIE

¿Sería cierto?

EDUARDO

Yo por mí, creo que sí, pero habrá que hablar con la muchacha.

[CANDY AND MOSES COME UP AND JOIN THE SCENE.]

JULIE

He believes it but he says to ask Sylvia.

SAM

So she went to Santa Cecilia without telling anyone?! What was she thinking?! Her father is on an airplane right now, wondering if she´s even alive!

EDUARDO

El muchacho dijo que allá en Santa Cecilia él oyó por radio que ella se consideraba persona perdida y que la estaban buscando por cielo y tierra. Se asustó porque él sabía que si la encuentran con él, él podrá tener problemas. Y parece que no necesita más problemas.

JULIE

Ha!

CANDY

What? Where is she?

BEV

Inside.

JULIE

…that Dino heard on the radio when they were in Santa Cecilia that she was a missing person. And they gave a description of her and everything. He got scared because he didn't want more problems with the police. (to Eduardo) ¿Y él la trajo para entregarla?

EDUARDO

Sí. Ella estaba muy brava con él. Discutían en inglés - quien sabe que se dijeron. Él le dijo que se bajara, creo. Ella se bajó y se vino conmigo y él siguió el camino.

JULIE

Yeah. Sylvia was mad at Dino. They started arguing and he apparently told her to get out of the van. So she got out and came back with Eduardo.

[ALL THE REST OF THE SEARCHERS ENTER IN GROUPS OF TWO OR THREE. THEY HUG EACH OTHER AND COMMUNICATE QUIETLY BUT THERE IS NO COMMOTION ON STAGE.]

SAM

Tell Eduardo that we are forever indebted to him. It takes nerve to run Dino off the road.

JULIE

Que lo agradecen mucho. Se necesita mucho valor para sacarle a Dino de la calle.

EDUARDO

Por nada. Era lo único que podía hacer.

SAM

So he's saying that Dino brought her back? He turned her over?

WILSON

He's not completely stupid. He didn't want to be caught with a missing person on board.

MOSES

Is she ok?

SAM

She's ok. She's pissed as hell and, I think, embarrassed.

DAVE

No shit.

DENISE

She did become famous over night.

BEV

The nerve of that girl! I am astounded.

DAVE

She too big for a whoopin'?

SAM

Yes, Dave, she is.

KATIA

¿Ella está bien?

MANUEL

¿Dónde está?

CARLOS

Está adentro. Está bien.

WILSON

Has anybody notified the police?

JULIE

¿A la policía se han notificado?

EDUARDO

No.

WILSON

We need to let them know. And they'll have to talk to her. She’s really alright?

SAM

Not a scratch.

MOSES

This will be a happy day for Austin.

DENISE

Oh my God! We have to leave for the airport! And I haven't taken a shower!

BEV

Will Sylvia go with us?

SAM

She is not staying here by herself. But she won't want to go, either.

WILSON

I have an idea. You and Bev go pick up Austin. Somebody can tell the police to come over and I'll stay here and wait with her. Bet she won't try anything.

MOSES

Eduardo should talk to the police too, if he can stay.

EDUARDO

Sí. No problem. (to Manuel) Primo, vaya a traer la policía.

MANUEL

Voy.

EDUARDO

(to Julie) Te quedas por si el policía quiere hablar con la muchacha?

JULIE

Claro.

[EXIT MANUEL TO NOTIFY THE POLICE]

DENISE

I'm so happy for you. I knew she was going to be ok. That girl's tough.

BEV

Thanks, Denise.

SAM

Thank you. Thank you all. You amaze me. I never imagined - I never imagined something like... And I couldn't have dreamed of better - of more... love. From you. Thank you for what you did for us. For what you gave. I wish we could repay you.

BEV

I feel like you're all our family.

VAL

Of course we're your family.

CANDY

And you're ours. We're all stuck with each other just like a real family.

[TOWNSPEOPLE WHO HAVEN’T HAD A CHANCE TO SPEAK PERSONALLY WITH BEV AND SAM HOW DO SO IN A MOMENT OF AD-LIBBED LINES AND EMBRACES.]

DENISE

So let's go. It’s almost time. Let’s go tell your son the good news.

SAM

Just a minute.

[SAM GOES INTO THE HOUSE FOR A MOMENT. HE COMES OUT A STEP BEHIND SYLVIA.]

SAM

Sylvia wanted to say something.

[IT IS QUITE OBVIOUS THAT THIS IS NOT TRUE, THAT SAM HAS GIVEN HER NO CHOICE BUT TO LOOK THE PEOPLE IN THE FACE WHO GAVE OF THEMSELVES FOR HER WELL-BEING.]

SYLVIA

I’m ok. Thank you. I’m sorry. Nothing happened to me.

MONICA

We love your grandpa and Bev a lot, Sylvia, and we love you too. We don't like to see them heartbroken the way they were when you didn't come home and we couldn't find you.

SYLVIA

I thought - I didn't think - I didn't think it would be such a big deal.

WILSON

A young lady who disappears is a big deal, even in Paradise.

[SYLVIA IS SILENT]

CARLOS

It a very big deal.

[SYLVIA IS SILENT]

CANDY

Paradise shut down and everyone was looking for you. Even tourists donated their rent-a-cars. I know you don't like me, but I was so worried about you I couldn't sleep.

SYLVIA

Are you going to call the police?

SAM

Absolutely. They’ve been searching for you, too. We have to tell them we found you. They should actually be here any time. They'll need to talk to you, and Julie will help you. Wilson and Eduardo are staying too. We're going to get your dad.

[PARADISE BEGINS TO DISPERSE. BEV, SAM AND DENISE GO OUT TOGETHER AND WE HEAR THEM DRIVE AWAY. SYLVIA, EDUARDO AND WILSON SIT ON THE PORCH.]

WILSON

I'm a police officer from California. Why don't you tell me what happened?

SYLVIA

I said I was sorry. I am.

WILSON

Ok, but you have to say more than that.

[SYLVIA SHRUGS.]

WILSON

Where did you go?

SYLVIA

Santa Cecilia

WILSON

Did Dinosaurio make you go there?

SYLVIA

No.

WILSON

Sylvia, why didn't you tell someone-

SYLVIA

Like Grandpa would have let me! I get so bored just working at that old cafe all the time. Dino said he knows lots of cool places to go. But Grandpa hates him because he got in a wreck with Bev. We were gonna come back. That's not running away! He said he would take me…

[THE LIGHTS FADE DURING SYLVIA'S LINES AND HER VOICE TRAILS OFF AS THE STAGE FADES TO BLACK.]

ACT II

SCENE 5

[PARADISE CAFÉ AT CLOSING TIME. CANDY IS CLEANING, WIPING TABLES. THERE ARE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS MIXED IN WITH THE TROPICAL DECOR AND CANDY IS WEARING A SANTA CLAUS HAT. CARLOS WIPES DOWN THE KITCHEN. SAM AND BEV HAVE JUST ARRIVED. BEV TAKES A BROOM AND BEGINS TO SWEEP. SAM TAKES THE CASHBOX AND CALCULATOR AND PLUNKS DOWN IN A CHAIR.]

SAM

Good day?

CARLOS

Too much. I'm so tired.

CANDY

We haven't stopped since ten this morning. This place was crazy.

BEV

Wonderful!

SAM

I love you guys.

CARLOS

We love you because tomorrow is the day off.

SAM

Only for that?

CANDY

And because you pay us.

SAM

How loyal of you. What true friends.

CANDY

How's Sylvia? Haven't seen her for a while.

BEV

She's good.

[JULIE BURSTS IN]

JULIE

Oh, no! Am I too late?

SAM

Too late for what?

JULIE

Coffee and a brownie. I need caffeine or I will die.

CANDY

Could you be more dramatic?

JULIE

I could, but I might embarrass myself.

BEV

Don't do that.

JULIE

(to Candy) Nice hat.

CANDY

Isn't it great? Hot, though!

CARLOS

Cómo está, Julie?

JULIE

Bien. Y usted?

CARLOS

Cansado.

JULIE

Yo también. No hay un queque de chocolate?

CARLOS

Sí, claro. En la refri.

JULIE

MMM. (helping herself like it's her own home) Don't mind me while I walk into your restaurant and eat out of the refrigerator.

BEV

Any time. How's school going?

JULIE

One more week till break. I CAN'T WAIT. What's 7x3? 6x4? 8x2? Aggh! Oh, hey. Sylvia's books came.

SAM

Great. She'll be so happy.

CANDY

Yeah right.

BEV

No, I think she really wants to start.

SAM

She agreed to do it. She only has one year left and I think it'll be great.

JULIE

I looked at the program and it's cool. I've never done home school, but I think it will be fun. And she can get it over with as fast as she wants. I saw her at Reina's Boutique yesterday.

BEV

Reina loves her! Says she's great with the clients. Her manicures are perfect and Reina is thinking of sending her to Stefano's to learn massage.

SAM

Mm-hm.

JULIE

Wow.

CANDY

Decided it's not so bad living with people who look out for each other.

SAM

(laying out two little piles of money) Carlos, Santa Claus - here's money for you.

CANDY

Ho ho ho.

CARLOS

Thank you.

BEV

Sam, remember you need to talk to Julie...

SAM

Oh, Julie! I need to borrow you sometime when you have a moment.

JULIE

Ok.

SAM

I need an interpreter for a meeting.

JULIE

Yes?

SAM

Yeah. Denise and I have a business proposition for Eduardo.

CANDY

Is this a private conversation I'm not supposed to be hearing?

SAM

Not really. You can hear it, but you can't repeat it.

CANDY

I won't.

SAM

Denise wants to buy this building.

JULIE

BUY?

CANDY

Will he sell it?

BEV

We don't know--

SAM

Please! You got the money, honey, Paradise is for sale!

BEV

And Denise has money.

SAM

She wants to buy the café and run it with us as a partner.

JULIE

Wow! What's great! You could stay!

SAM

Well, it isn't bought yet.

CANDY

I knew it! I heard you were leaving but I didn't believe it.

SAM

It's smart not to believe everything you hear.

BEV

The other thing is that Austin has taken an interest too.

JULIE

No.

SAM

A limited interest. He can get used computers and computer equipment through his work, so Denise and I are thinking of giving the Paradise Café a new face.

CANDY

What?

SAM

In the States now you know Internet is the big thing. And e-mail. You connect a computer into a phone line, write your letter, and it sends in a second just like a fax. Only a lot cheaper! It’s called E-mail. This is revolutionizing everything. Think what it could do for guys like Dave with his fishing reservations.

BEV

And this was Sylvia's idea.

JULIE

(looking around, imagining) Wow. Computers. Paradise Café meets the year 2000.

CANDY

But we don't have a phone.

SAM

Well, that's true. We don’t. But you've seen how the phone company is digging trenches all the way from here to Malinche.

JULIE

That's great. I like it.

SAM

So do I. I'd cut the greasy food and just do coffee, fruit drinks and pastries or something. Less overhead, less mess.

BEV

Something different.

CANDY

..but it could take a long time to get those lines...

SAM

It could. Or Eduardo could say no. But it's worth asking.

CANDY

Of course!

BEV

I am so happy! I know it's just an idea, but it's good one and I have a positive feeling about this.

JULIE

The Paradise CyberCafé. I don't know. It takes something out "Paradise" to add "Cyber."

SAM

Ah, but that's where you're wrong. "Cyber" represents connection and that's what makes Paradise paradise.

CANDY

You're such a cornball, Sam.

SAM

You're such a ditz-brain, Candy.

JULIE

You could change the name to something with "Surfing" - you know, like waves, the net...

CANDY

Ugh. Stop her.

BEV

We could...

SAM

What do you think, Carlos?

CARLOS

About the computer?

SAM

Yeah.

CARLOS

I want to put like in the movies one million dólares in the cuenta of Carlos Rogelio Salas Cordoba.

[A SUDDEN QUIET HISS IS HEARD AND IT GROWS INTO THE UNDENIABLE SOUND OF A SURPRISE RAIN SHOWER. LIGHTS START TO FADE AND CONTINUE TO BLACKOUT.]

SAM

What the hell?

[JULIE JUMPS UP AND DASHES TO LOOK OUTSIDE]

CANDY

Is that rain?!

BEV

(knowing that it is) No!

JULIE

That would be rain.

CANDY

What the hell? It doesn't rain in December!

CARLOS

Aguas locas.

SAM

Locos, alright! When I hear rain, I still jump to pull up the top on the jeep.

BEV

We're going to get soaked.

CARLOS

Don't worry. Aguas locas comes one moment, then comes out the sun. We just wait.

[FADE TO BLACK. THE SOUND OF RAIN LINGERS.]

About the Author

Diana Zimmerman is a poet and memoirist who was born into the Mennonite community of Lancaster Pennsylvania, graduated from Goshen College, and resides in Costa Rica. Her multilingual works blend English, Spanish, and Italian. A Lucky Breath, Zimmerman’s most recent memoir, was released in December 2023 by Workplay Publishing. Her previous memoirs are: Marry a Mennonite Boy and Make Pie (2018, Workplay Publishing), and When the Roll Is Called a Pyonder (2014, Electio Publishing). Diana’s poetry collections include Certain as Afternoon/Certa Come il Pomeriggio (2019) and Tell Me About the Telaraña (2012).

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Paradise Café

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